Suffering
in silence...more deaths....but for how long?
Who
will break the silence on their behalf?
MARGARET MWANGI
Suffering in silence...more
deaths....but for how long?
Josephine not real name is now
carrying her third pregnancy. She talked to Margaret Mwangi, that for many
years her husband has abused her by beating, kicking her even when there is no
cause. The constant beatings have made her become silent so much that when she
begins talking her tears roll down her face. “I used to hear stories about
women who have died as a result of being beaten by their husbands while
pregnant. But I couldn’t imagine this could one day happen to me” she says in a
sobs in silence. We pose for a moment so that she can gain composure.
When she was five months pregnant, she
borrowed some salt from her neighbours to put in her food. This gesture did not
please the husband instead she earned herself beatings while she was pregnant.
In the process of kicking her, blood started oozing from my private parts.
“I realized that my baby was no
longer kicking but dead silent without any more kicks. I lost the energy and my
abusive husband ran away, leaving me in the house”. She says. After the long talk with Josephine, she
finally confined in Mwangi after reassurance her that her testimony will be
used to encourage other women who are suffering out, to seek help from
counsellors and women focused organizations.
A year later, Josephine became
pregnant for the second time in a row. She says that she was looking forward to
having a baby with joy and anticipation. All was well with her husband, until
when she started asking for money from the husband to go for ante-natal
check-up Mulago hospital.
On sunny day, Mwamba the husband
says that, “I have money for breakfast and supper...I don’t have money for your
lunch and ante-natal care”. According to
the Ministry of Health, pregnant women are required to for four recommended
checkups so the health workers can closely monitor the progress of the child
and their health. She adds that the nurses informed to her take antenatal
visits seriously because of the previous miscarriage. Unfortunately Josephine’s luck was running
out because her husband got to know about it, through a pregnant neighbour who
visited the same hospital. My husband became furious entered the house and
closed the door instantly.
“My husband pouched me on the face beat me
mercilessly. I lost my conscious. When I recovered conscious, I had miscarriage.
Crying out oh! No not again. My chances of becoming a mother were slim. This
left me with physical and emotional wounds which will take time some time to
heal” she says.
Her clinic check -ups were very
important, the doctor had advice her during her last visit because they use
this time to monitor her health progress and of her baby. ‘I have money for our
breakfast and supper...I don’t have money for your lunch and for your clinic!
From today no more going to the clinic or cooking any lunch in this house’
“Josephine feared to tell the doctor about her
situation back at home how her husband had threatened her with death if she
ever goes back there”
When she went for her next
ant-natal clinic, her husband came to know of it through her neighbour
.Josephine was now three months pregnant. Her husband pouched on her and beat
her mercilessly till she lost her conscious ...when she recovered her
conscious, she had miscarriage and her second baby was lost leaving her with
physical and mental wounds which will take time to heal.
Her future of becoming a proud
mother of many healthy babies seem to be
unpredictable every passing day...if this beatings continues, then , she
stands high chances of loosing of her pregnancies and becoming childless as
years progresses and her reproductive
years diminishes.
Her husband is now threatening to
marry a second wife if she keeps on miscarriaging now and then. “I need
children in this compound and if you are unable to produce then someone else
will do it f0r me! There many women out there who are always beaten by their
husbands when they defy orders yet they still get children. Does it mean your
womb is so weak that it can’t hold a baby until it is born?”Say Josephine
husband in rage!!!
Josephine sobs
uncontrollably...with no one to comfort her....
According to Human Rights Watch, domestic violence is a global phenomenon
and one of the leading causes of female injuries in almost every country in the
globe. The World Health Organization shows that
gender based violence is a serious human rights and public health concern. The
WHO says while men and boys may also be affected, research indicates that
sexual and gender-based violence predominantly affects women and girls.
Similarly the Uganda Demographic and Health Survey (UDHS) 2006 more than
two thirds of Ugandan women experience violence from their partners. Sixty percent had been harassed or beaten by
their partner.
Furthermore the survey shows that seven in ten women agreed beating of
women is allowed. This shows that women in Uganda accept violence as part of
female male relationship. Gender activists contend that traditional norms teach
women to accept, tolerate and question battery.
Tina Musuya, the Executive Director of the Centre
for Domestic Violence Prevention says that, as long as women are poor and uneducated, it is difficult
for them to resist violence just as Josephine.
“If girls and women are not educated they are more likely to be
more tolerance to domestic violence which is a dangerous precedent”. She says
The increasing cases of violence against women
being reported are just a tip of an iceberg of the many atrocities that are
being committed against women.
She adds: “many cases are not reported to
authorities due to social acceptance of GBV, the stigma associated with it,
fear of more violence from partners, failure by police to act on perpetrators,
absence of a relevant law to punish GBV among other reasons”.
Musuya says the government should expedite the
passing of the Domestic Relations Bill and the Sexual Offenses Bill that will
give more protection to both men and women in the home setting. The laws have
been under consideration for the past more than 40 years.
“The women activists are concerned that the
government is not doing enough to protect women from acts of GBV and to help
victims recover from gender based violence”. She explains.
According to Rose
Mary Kayanja, a counsellor at Masaka District, majority of these women don’t
know anything about of their right and totally dependence of their husbands.
“The women are
dependent on their partners for survival. Having children to take care of,
should she leave the marriage, it will increase the financial burden and make
it difficult for her to resort either for divorce or separation. Therefore
dependency leaves women with fewer options and few resources to help them. They are helpless and choose to suffer in
silence” she says.
Just
like Kayanja, Rita Aciro lacor, the National coordinator of the Uganda Women’s
Network, says there are issues of culture which most people use to justify
violence. That it is culturally acceptable for a woman to be beaten once in a
while by her husband in African society. This is coupled with biting poverty. “Women
cannot make their own choices and end up suffering a lot of violence." She
adds.
Aciro
lacor says majority of the women are getting empowered, and unfortunately the
men are not coping with the empowerment. And the end result of that is the
violence, because they think by beating a woman, you are trying to bring her
down and control her."
However the challenge for the Domestic Violence Act
2010 is the lack of implementation at all levels.
Irrespective of the fact that
Josephine has been though thick and thin in her abuse marriage she is still
optimistic that the relationship will work out for her if she manages to get a baby.
